Synchronicity and loving ones self.

You never know what’s around the corner. I often get asked about synchronicity or co incidence and why we have to learn lessons?  I’ll recap a incident that happened recently. Intuitively I felt it was time to leave Albany, it was my past and although there are aspects and people that I still love there, it wasn’t the place for me. As I jumped on the bus heading to Perth I was thinking ‘what’s next?’ and boarded the train to Fremantle. After several minutes a lady sat next to me with her headphones on. I looked at her a couple of times, but respecting her need to chill out, gazed out the window. Just before my station she looked at me, removed her ear phones and asked ‘where are you going?’

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‘To the buddhist centre’ to which she replied smiling ‘I live opposite there, I’ll give you a lift if you like.’ Now, anyone who has ever travelled alone lugging suitcases around knows being offered a lift is equivalent to winning lotto. Ok, maybe not first division but certainly up around Div 3. We met for lunch a few days later, then coffee, and breakfast the following weekend. Imagine my surprise when it turned out she was not only struggling with a marriage breakdown but also the loss of her brother to suicide.

And this is my point. Who better to hang out with than someone who has endured the same experiences? Was that synchronicity or co-incidence? I don’t believe in co-incidence so imagine the magic of the Universe to create that experience? Where two souls meet in divine timing to help one another on this journey of life.

Silver Birch speaks about the difficulties of life’s journey and overcoming setbacks, grief, break ups, loss etc are all lessons that slowly build us up from the inside to make us strong. I have a problem I deal with yearly in my own life yet I also know, without a shadow of a doubt that this experience has helped me become emotionally strong! I never realised before how fragile I was, emotionally, around my kids. Through dealing with this issue, it’s given me a stronger compassion for people who lose children.

I now reflect on my long term relationships and see how much I have grown as a soul especially, emotionally. I can now stand on my own two feet, no longer am as one counsellor told me, ‘learned dependancy’ and recognise situations where I’m tempted to give my power away. I needed those hard tough years with men who were controlling and domineering, whom I continually gave way in order to have peace at any cost. Why? Because this was the emotional environment that I grew up in. I had to revisit it in order to learn and grow out of it. There is no weekend workshop crash course dealing with a souls journey and the lessons it has chosen to learn. We are all so individual.

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I have also learned that I can no longer be in a personal relationship with someone who has not done their inner work. There is a lot going on ‘within’ and the longer you pretend it doesn’t exist, the more potent it is. A psychologist friend used to tell me ‘you gotta know what’s likely to bite you’.  I now view my past so called ‘failures’ with a air of gratefulness, the abuse I had to experience in order to rise above it and escape that low vibration.  I needed to know what love wasn’t in order to learn what it was. And the best way to do that was to take tiny steps towards loving myself, step by step, day by day.

Warts, white hair n all. xx

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Being ok with the uncomfortable.

I was reading an article the other day about the lizard brain and how it is geared for our survival. Survival, not change. It’s why so many of us stay in out moded relationships that no longer serve us, or abusive ones that we feel stuck in and why we cling to jobs that undermine us, why we stay put rather than seek change. This has helped me understand so many of my past situations in life. The funny things is, life is full of change, its the only thing we can ever really count on (besides death and taxes) as it creeps along side us daily and sometimes hits us wham bam, when we least expect it.

Recently as I listened to someone tell me a story about a friend who got upset every time they drove to town behind an older (slower) driver,  I chuckled,  ‘jeepers if that’s all it takes to piss them off they would never survive in a city.’

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Its why I love shows like ‘I’m a celebrity get me out of here’  as they place contestants in uncomfortable situations which most of us are quietly fascinated by, watching their reactions, wondering how we would react in similar circumstances? I mean, if someone wanted me to bungy jump or jump out of a plane I don’t know what the hell I’d do, but give me a back pack and a few hundred $, I know I could survive travelling anywhere.

Knowing our survival brain craves comfort and familiarity, it stands to reason why we resist change so much. Why we cling to the known routes even though intuitively we are bored, there is little growth present and we long to go on an adventure. The reality is, if we step out into the great unknown, we are on unfamiliar ground. Anything could happen.

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And usually things DO happen. Yet if we believe that the Universe has our back (always) then what is there to fear? Sure, there will be a period of discomfort while we readjust out inner compass but as far as I can ascertain, we are always led to something far greater than we ever imagined. Staying calm is the key to navigating past our fears.

Researching for this blog I came across a great article called ‘How to make friends with your reptilian brain’ by Edwina Shaw.

“When we are living in a constant state of fear and stress we’ll keep working at a job we hate; we’ll do things we’re not proud of to get the sex we need, we’ll forget our childhood dreams, and the urges of our higher selves, because it’s all way too scary.”

I myself, like being at the edge of my comfort zone. Even though sometimes the mere challenge of finding a new place to live, organising finances, setting up again in a new city can feel overwhelming at times, I know if I stay calm, go within and consult with my inner well of tranquility –  all is well.

I also love this quote by Seth Godin

The lizard brain is the reason you’re afraid, the reason you don’t do all the art you can, the reason you don’t ship when you can. The lizard brain is the source of the resistance.”