Friendships n Fun

Today I walked with a friend, along a gorgeous stretch of parkland I’d not been on before. It was cool and quiet in the early morning and as we began our walk, passed a few houses we saw wallabies sitting in the driveway. Where in city suburbia do you see this? Normally I go walking alone, it provides great thinking space, a time to ponder deeper questions, helps connect with feelings and gives space to hear ones intuition. Walking with my friend gave me different experience, the joy of chatting with someone on a similar wave length, discussing various situations in our lives that requires change or simply our attention.  We talk about going within, what’s being reflected back at us and in the words of Professor Sunder Millar ‘why is this so?’

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I realised at times, theres a need to let go of all friendships,  to free everyone and see who comes back in. ‘Those whom are meant for you, will be for you” is a saying that resonates, from one of Florence Shovel Shin’s books.  I like putting this in action, because we don’t have ownership over anyone and it allows friends the freedom to come and go, a healthier way of being. My friend and I must have covered a dozen different topics between the two of us as it dawned on me, she is one friend who keeps coming in. We love early morning walks, music, creativity, we aim to live a healthy lifestyle and enjoy a glass of red wine at night.  I adore my connection with her, mainly because I can be my truest self around her. This requires a lot of trust. Of course theres lots of other friendships too, people I don’t see for months but when we do, we connect in joy!

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Being real, ones authentic self, allowing someone ‘in’ – someone who can sit with our vulnerabilities and still love us, is unique. Being true to our highest selves and leading from the front – by our example, we have the opportunity to truly help another on the pathway of life.  It’s not always easy, plenty of times I’ve fallen (scratched both knees!) but it is in the ability to get up again, face life square on, swallow ones pride, put your head up and have another go, surviving challenging situations that in turn, help build our characters from the inside. As the Beatles sing ‘you become you in time.’

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Authentic friendships provide us with soul nurturing. It’s friendship built on trust, truth and love. I believe we humans need deep friendships and heartfelt connections with others (besides our “significant other”). It’s healthy to share, laugh, grow, to extend oneself through relating to another, to let ones guard down and simply ‘be’ in the presence of someone who understands, loves, encourages and supports us, always reminding us of our wings of strength and that we DO have the ability to fly.

til next blog, stay safe, have fun… grab a friend and take a walk…

Pet Sitting, house sitting n helping

Over the years I’ve done a bit of house sitting and caring for pets. Currently,  Im looking after my daughters gorgeous rag dolls. Isabel, a little shy darling and Frankie, a big fluffy boy with a attitude to match. He talks to me. Honestly. This cat is so vocal and strides around like he owns the place. Just yesterday, as I sat on the lounge reading emails he plonked himself behind me and proceeded to bite my head. Yep. Truly.  I knew he was playing in a funny strange cat way but he was also meowing LOUDLY like ‘come on woman, get up off that lounge  you have NOT fed me nearly enough food.’

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Now, I have a thing about spoiled or overweight pets. Us humans often get sooo attached to them that we literally over feed or give them human baby status. I know this first hand because I literally have to say “excuse me” to my sisters dog because she loves to sit on the lounge snuggled beside my sister and looks at me as if to say ‘too bad you take the floor, I’m here first’ …. And IF I try to move her, well, I’ve attempted that once or twice and boy do I get a dirty look and accompaning growl, and not just from the dog. (ha ha)

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Getting back to Frankie baby. ‘MEOW’ Bite, MEOW scratch on scalp…. Bloody hell I mumble to myself, he is going to continue this until I give him more damn food. I’ll make him wait another minute or so ‘MEOW bite’ …Ok I give up, have some dry biscuits as well. There is no doubt about it, animals give us more than we give them (except for extra biscuits), because I watch my daughters face light up when she has Isabel in her arms and my sister is in sheer bliss with her dog half human baby snuggled beside her on the lounge. Love is in the air – most defiantly.

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So Frankie and I have a thing going on. I swear he understands when I get on the floor to tell him ‘nannies back’. He rolls around, play claws me and loves nothing more than to walk on my body when I’m in bed and plonk down on my pillow no less, with his little face touching mine. He is such a goofy male, yet this loving streak of affection streams out of him at the moment I most want to curl up and switch off for the day. Instead, I have cat fur up my nose and a purring puss beside me. And a loving feeling creeps over me as I realise that he wants nothing more than to snuggle up beside his nanny. Ahhhh.

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Synchronicity and loving ones self.

You never know what’s around the corner. I often get asked about synchronicity or co incidence and why we have to learn lessons?  I’ll recap a incident that happened recently. Intuitively I felt it was time to leave Albany, it was my past and although there are aspects and people that I still love there, it wasn’t the place for me. As I jumped on the bus heading to Perth I was thinking ‘what’s next?’ and boarded the train to Fremantle. After several minutes a lady sat next to me with her headphones on. I looked at her a couple of times, but respecting her need to chill out, gazed out the window. Just before my station she looked at me, removed her ear phones and asked ‘where are you going?’

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‘To the buddhist centre’ to which she replied smiling ‘I live opposite there, I’ll give you a lift if you like.’ Now, anyone who has ever travelled alone lugging suitcases around knows being offered a lift is equivalent to winning lotto. Ok, maybe not first division but certainly up around Div 3. We met for lunch a few days later, then coffee, and breakfast the following weekend. Imagine my surprise when it turned out she was not only struggling with a marriage breakdown but also the loss of her brother to suicide.

And this is my point. Who better to hang out with than someone who has endured the same experiences? Was that synchronicity or co-incidence? I don’t believe in co-incidence so imagine the magic of the Universe to create that experience? Where two souls meet in divine timing to help one another on this journey of life.

Silver Birch speaks about the difficulties of life’s journey and overcoming setbacks, grief, break ups, loss etc are all lessons that slowly build us up from the inside to make us strong. I have a problem I deal with yearly in my own life yet I also know, without a shadow of a doubt that this experience has helped me become emotionally strong! I never realised before how fragile I was, emotionally, around my kids. Through dealing with this issue, it’s given me a stronger compassion for people who lose children.

I now reflect on my long term relationships and see how much I have grown as a soul especially, emotionally. I can now stand on my own two feet, no longer am as one counsellor told me, ‘learned dependancy’ and recognise situations where I’m tempted to give my power away. I needed those hard tough years with men who were controlling and domineering, whom I continually gave way in order to have peace at any cost. Why? Because this was the emotional environment that I grew up in. I had to revisit it in order to learn and grow out of it. There is no weekend workshop crash course dealing with a souls journey and the lessons it has chosen to learn. We are all so individual.

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I have also learned that I can no longer be in a personal relationship with someone who has not done their inner work. There is a lot going on ‘within’ and the longer you pretend it doesn’t exist, the more potent it is. A psychologist friend used to tell me ‘you gotta know what’s likely to bite you’.  I now view my past so called ‘failures’ with a air of gratefulness, the abuse I had to experience in order to rise above it and escape that low vibration.  I needed to know what love wasn’t in order to learn what it was. And the best way to do that was to take tiny steps towards loving myself, step by step, day by day.

Warts, white hair n all. xx

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Being ok with the uncomfortable.

I was reading an article the other day about the lizard brain and how it is geared for our survival. Survival, not change. It’s why so many of us stay in out moded relationships that no longer serve us, or abusive ones that we feel stuck in and why we cling to jobs that undermine us, why we stay put rather than seek change. This has helped me understand so many of my past situations in life. The funny things is, life is full of change, its the only thing we can ever really count on (besides death and taxes) as it creeps along side us daily and sometimes hits us wham bam, when we least expect it.

Recently as I listened to someone tell me a story about a friend who got upset every time they drove to town behind an older (slower) driver,  I chuckled,  ‘jeepers if that’s all it takes to piss them off they would never survive in a city.’

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Its why I love shows like ‘I’m a celebrity get me out of here’  as they place contestants in uncomfortable situations which most of us are quietly fascinated by, watching their reactions, wondering how we would react in similar circumstances? I mean, if someone wanted me to bungy jump or jump out of a plane I don’t know what the hell I’d do, but give me a back pack and a few hundred $, I know I could survive travelling anywhere.

Knowing our survival brain craves comfort and familiarity, it stands to reason why we resist change so much. Why we cling to the known routes even though intuitively we are bored, there is little growth present and we long to go on an adventure. The reality is, if we step out into the great unknown, we are on unfamiliar ground. Anything could happen.

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And usually things DO happen. Yet if we believe that the Universe has our back (always) then what is there to fear? Sure, there will be a period of discomfort while we readjust out inner compass but as far as I can ascertain, we are always led to something far greater than we ever imagined. Staying calm is the key to navigating past our fears.

Researching for this blog I came across a great article called ‘How to make friends with your reptilian brain’ by Edwina Shaw.

“When we are living in a constant state of fear and stress we’ll keep working at a job we hate; we’ll do things we’re not proud of to get the sex we need, we’ll forget our childhood dreams, and the urges of our higher selves, because it’s all way too scary.”

I myself, like being at the edge of my comfort zone. Even though sometimes the mere challenge of finding a new place to live, organising finances, setting up again in a new city can feel overwhelming at times, I know if I stay calm, go within and consult with my inner well of tranquility –  all is well.

I also love this quote by Seth Godin

The lizard brain is the reason you’re afraid, the reason you don’t do all the art you can, the reason you don’t ship when you can. The lizard brain is the source of the resistance.”