Mostly I like to write upbeat pieces, stories that make you feel good (hopefully). Or maybe thought provoking. This time, I want to review a book I’ve just finished reading called Perfect Stranger. I literally could not put it down. It’s an incredible story about a 40 year old high flyer Kay Schubach who met a man, who is now in jail. My sister kept telling me ‘you have to read this book, it’s a lot like what you went through.’ Unfortunately, she was right.
In just a couple of months this man turned Kay’s life upside down and unfortunately, she didn’t have the inner resources to complete her AVO nor follow through with assault charges. This is what so often occurs, you are so worn down, emotionally depleted and exhausted that you just want to get as far away from your perpetrator as possible.
Without support around you, it is nearly impossible to follow through with any court action. There is a very big flaw in the QLD court system that I experienced. If you have also been served an AVO and want to fight it (because it’s untrue) and the perpetrator is self representing he will get to cross examine you! Your the one who is terrified, exhausted and depleted and don’t even want to be in the same room as them, yet they have that edge once again, over you. I have heard there is a movement trying to change this. These relationships are about power and control and if you have the unfortunate experience living with someone like this, all I can say is, it won’t change.
Kay Shubach ended up going O/S where she began a years repair on her wounded downtrodden self. She had suffered enormous physical, mental and emotional abuse at the hands of a very sick narcissist/psychopath. He has changed his surname (they like changing their names I’ve noticed) but he is due for parole in 2020. Heaven forbid.
From the Daily Telegraph in Sydney a excerpt from an article written by Sarah Crawford in Nov 2016 ‘LIFE behind bars for infamous rapist Simon Monteiro is not as cushy as he would like so he has issued a list of demands to prison authorities, including a request to be moved to a jail by the coast.
Monteiro, 49, who was imprisoned for 12 years in 2008 after being convicted of bashing, raping and twice impregnating his girlfriend in their eastern suburbs home, would also like an “orthopaedic mattress’’ and a “soft-bristled toothbrush’’.
Also known as Simon Lowe, Monteiro was nicknamed the “playboy rapist” because he bragged about being a model and actor who once dated Hollywood star Barbara Hershey.’
When I was into chapter 3 of Kay’s book I was thinking ‘No no ! Red Flag!’ This was only because of what I now understand about these toxic men (and yes, there are women around like it too). They prey on the lonely and vulnerable, people who are kind, gentle and loving. If you know of anyone who has been through something of this nature, tread gently with them, remind them they are loved and be there for them. I still thank the three ladies in my life who stuck by me like glue and one of my sisters. At the end of these unions you are completely and utterly exhausted and barely know which way is up. These perpetrators can do enormous damage with their air of confidence amid the pathological lies they spread. Some people do start to wonder maybe there is a grain of truth to them? I honor women like Kay Shubach whos incredibly brave writing an sit on the edge of your seat – page turning book from her experience. Good for you Kay.